Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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