Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
