How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
