What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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