all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
