My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
