I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize