Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
