Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize
