I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
