she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize