Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
