I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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