obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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