I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
