She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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