yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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