It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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