I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
