Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
