He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
