Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize