I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
