he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
