Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
