Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
two words: eviction party
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
