no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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