Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
