It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
