I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
