I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
