Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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