escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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