So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
