Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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