on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Houston, we have a squirter
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
