No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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