now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
