he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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