we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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