sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
