i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
