Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I deserve this hangover.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
