D3 body, D1 cock
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
