It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
