I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize