make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
