I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize