You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
