Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Help. Why am I so naked?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
