At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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