He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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