You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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