I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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