He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
