I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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