If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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