i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize