So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
