You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
one might say we're banned from that church
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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