i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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