genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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