Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
