thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
