i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize