I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize