Define "chronic" masturbator.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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