Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
