just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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