Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
another moral hangover. fuck.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
